


Lovely

by I_want_to_hunt_the_Moon



Series: Ahava [2]
Category: Feverwake - Victoria Lee
Genre: But like only a little hurt, Canon Compliant, Correct information about ladybugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, It's mostly just comforting Noam I guess, It's teen because there's a reference to them having a sex life but nothing else explicit., Kid Fic, Light Angst, M/M, Married Couple, Pet Names, Post-Canon, because he deserves it, this is a gift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26518297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_want_to_hunt_the_Moon/pseuds/I_want_to_hunt_the_Moon
Summary: Dara sighed and then gave Noam a sardonic look. "What a pair we make.""Sure do, baby."or I only know how to show love through gift giving. Hi, camii.
Relationships: Noam Álvaro/Dara Shirazi
Series: Ahava [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1734058
Comments: 8
Kudos: 21





	Lovely

**Author's Note:**

  * For [riotkun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/riotkun/gifts).



> This is for camii and all Noam simps out there.
> 
> There's use of the word daddy. I'm sorry but I can't make ahava call Dara bro or something.  
> There is no use of papi chulo. For now.

Noam watched the clouds lazily drift through the sky, eyes halfheartedly tracking them. He turned his head when he the scuffling from beside him was interrupted by Ahava's high pitched squeal. She was clapping her hands while staring at something on the back of Dara's hand with big eyes. Dara was smiling gently while murmuring to her. She nodded in response to whatever was said and held out her cupped hands so Dara could carefully transfer the thing he was holding to her. He smiled wider and looked at Noam, gesturing gently in his direction. Ahava nodded wildly, hair bouncing up and down with the movement, and turned to skip over to him, her cupped hands held closely to her chest, Wolf running circles around her while letting out exited woofs.

"What do you have there, princessa?" he asked.

Ahava bounced on her toes, unable to contain her excitement. "A ladybug!"

Noam made an interested noise. "Really?"

"Yes! Look!" Noam sat up and bend forward to look at the little bug wriggling around Ahava's palm. "It's beautiful,mija."

"Did you know that blue ladybugs exist?" his daughter asked earnestly.

"No, I didn't." Her boundless curiosity never failed to make him smile, always asking a dozen questions about everything. He remembered watching Dara sit down with her in his lap so he could point out all the flowers and explain how they worked, remembered her watching Dara with bright eyes, her full attention on his low voice even though she couldn't understand the words yet.

"Well, they do and they're my new favorite animal. Alongside whales because those are cool too! Do you know what my least favorite kind of ladybug is?"

"No, what is your least favorite kind of ladybug, Ahava?"

"It's the black one with the red spots because they eat babies of other ladybugs if they're hungry. Technically they aren't babies, maybe, but it's still rude." She turned and asked Dara, "Are larvae babies, daddy?"

Dara, who had walked closer and kneeled next to her to watch the bug with them, shrugged. "I guess they are, love."

She nodded thoughtfully and turned back to watch her hands where the ladybug had started to crawl up her index finger. "My minus one favorite is the grey ladybug because they bite. Which isn't their fault but still mean. And then the yellow ladybug because, uhm, I don't really know and then it's orange because they're see through on the edges and then it's red because I like red and then it's blue."

"That's nice. Do you think about this a lot?" Noam asked gently while Dara hid his smile behind his hand.

"Yes, it's important, obviously."

"You're right. It is important," Noam murmured. "Why don't you go find more?" Ahava smiled and held her hand up towards the sky. She watched the ladybug fly away before turning back around running back to the bushes on the edge of the field, Wolf following closely behind.

Noam sighed and let himself fall back onto the picnic blanket. He heard Dara chuckle softly and felt him press himself up against Noam's side, hand coming to rest on his chest as Dara buried his face into his shoulder. "Hi, baby."

Dara pressed his nose into the crook of Noam's neck and inhaled deeply. "Hello."

"Enjoying yourself?"

Dara smiled against his skin. "Yes, I am. You?"

"Very much. You're wonderful, both of you."

Dara smiled wider. "Don't sell yourself short, darling." 

Noam brought one hand up to cradle the one Dara had laid on his chest. "Alright."

"I'm being serious." When Noam didn't answer Dara pushed himself up to look him in the eye. "Don't I tell you enough?"

Noam made a shushing noise and released Dara's hand to stroke over his cheek. "You tell me plenty, cariño." And Dara did. Always telling Noam -either with words or with actions- how happy he was, how grateful, how lucky. Like he was the lucky one instead of Noam.

Dara bend forward to kiss him softly. "Then why don't you believe me yet?"

Noam laughed nervously. "I've done some bad shit." Long ago maybe but he had done them.

"More good than bad and you've never done something bad without good intentions," Dara countered immediately. This was an old conversation, one that had been played out before- Noam sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, Dara pressed up against his back with his arms slung around Noam's waist.

"Do intentions really matter? The end result was still bad."

Dara shot a quick glance over his shoulder. "Ahava! Don't go to far."

Noam heard the distracted reply of 'Yes, daddy.' It seemed to be enough to satisfy Dara because he turned back to look at Noam. "But is it not at least better than doing bad things with bad intentions?"

"Possibly, but intentions don't matter to the one you've hurt with your actions."

"Your intentions always mattered to me, Noam. I don't care what you say about it and I've witnessed some of the stupidest shit you've done but I know you are a good person."

Noam swallowed. "A good person who does bad things? I don't know if that's possible."

Dara arched an eyebrow at him. "First off, you need to stop acting like you eat children for a living." Noam burst out laughing and Dara gifted him a lopsided grin. "Second, no person is purely good or bad. Thinking in black and white to that extend is immature and hell on your mental health. Third, don't talk in present tense. You are not doing bad things. You did bad things, when you were a minor, being manipulated by a decrepit monster while losing everything and having to figure out what was right."

Noam shrugged. "I still did them."

"I've done worse. Do you blame me?" Dara asked. He lowered his head to tip his forehead against Noam's. "Do you blame me?" He sounded so vulnerable.

Noam slid a hand in Dara's curls "No, no, you know I don't, mi amor," he whispered.

"Then why do you blame yourself?" Noam didn't answer. "You're so beautiful I wonder how you don't blind me sometimes and yet you don't like yourself. How?"

Noam smiled slowly. "You're the ten in this relationship Dara. Let's not fool ourselves."

Dara raised his head again so he could look Noam in the eye better. "I'm not just talking about your appearance, darling. I'm talking about in here." He tapped the side of Noam's head. He said it often yet it still made Noam squirm, partly because he was embarrassed and partly because a small piece of him was afraid that he had changed for the worse, that if Dara still had his telepathy he wouldn't be saying that.

"You know I've changed," Noam whispered, a faint pang of longing whenever the subject of magic was skirted in his chest.

"Don't say it like that's bad. I know you've changed and I know that all the important bits stayed the same."

"How?"

"I know you. I love you. I know who you are and you are good, better than me." He put a finger against Noam's lips when he started to protest. "You're better than most people. When I tell you that I've never met someone like you, someone as _good_ as you, I mean it. You know I don't give empty compliments towards people I actually care about."

Noam turned his head and blinked furiously. "Oh."

Dara pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. "That shut you up."

Noam laughed again. "Yes, it did."

"Good. No more of this, okay?" Dara's brow was crinkled like it did when he was worried, Noam tried to smooth it out with his thumb. "Also for the record, I'm an eleven." Noam snorted so hard it hurt. "We both are."

"I'm not what I used to be," Noam murmured.

Dara slid a hand up to his bicep to squeeze gently. "You call that not what you used to be? Darling, you are so full of nonsense today."

Noam shrugged. "It's true. You remember me in my twenties? I was hot. I could go for days at a time. I didn't even know what sleep was."

Dara rolled his eyes at him. "Stop talking about your twenties like it happened thirty years ago, it was only six years ago. You are still hot. Don't pretend like the damn insomnia was a positive side effect of that bygone era and for your information I appreciate the fact that I can finally walk normally."

Noam could feel his cheeks heat up. "Jesus, Dara. Ahava is right there."

Dara shrugged with an innocent look on his face. "So? It's true and don't worry she's too busy with her bugs." He stroked Noam's hair away from his face. "I don't like it when you doubt yourself. Please tell me if you're in a bad place or tell your therapist. Just don't stew on it."

"I will baby," Noam said. "You're too good for me."

"What did I just say." Dara's tone was irritated but his eyes were twinkling.

"But it's true!" 

Dara made a face at him when Noam just kept smiling back at him. "You're too good for me too," he sighed eventually.

"Is that how it works?" Noam asked.

Dara let himself fall onto his back next to Noam dramatically. "It is now." Noam felt a gentle warmth fill his chest as he looked at him.

"Oh my god! Papa! Mud!" Ahava squealed from somewhere to the right, leaving both Noam and Dara to scramble upright in a desperate attempt to stop her from flinging her entire body into filth.

* * *

Noam carried Ahava down the stairs towards the sound of Dara's aggravated muttering. She was curled up against his shoulder, hair still slightly wet. "Papa, is Australia real?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes. who told you it wasn't?" Noam asked.

"Ryan from my class said it didn't exist," Ahava scowled. "He laughed at me."

"Well, Ryan is wrong. Australia does exist."

"Can we go there?" Ahava asked, twisting her face in the sweetest expression she could manage.

"Maybe some day," Noam chuckled.

"Unbelievable. I don't even understand how you got this much dirt on you. It's everywhere! Honestly, Wolf. No, sit! I'm almost done. Good boy." Dara was sitting on his knees, drying Wolf's fur. The dog started to wag its tail when he saw Noam but stayed put.

"Hi, daddy."

Dara looked up and shot them a smile. "Hello, loves."

"Almost done?" he asked as he put Ahava down onto the floor.

"Yes," Dara sighed. "Such a good boy. Such a good clean boy," he cooed at Wolf as he pet his head. He stood and grabbed a treat from the canister on the counter and gave it to the dog. Wolf gobbled the treat and walked up towards Noam to look for more treats.

Ahava ran up to threw her arms around his neck. "Good boy!" Wolf snuffled her hair and barked softly. "Come on, let's go!" She turned and padded towards the living room, Wolf following closely behind. 

Noam pat them both on the head as they passed by and then turned to towards Dara who shot him a sharp look. "Don't look at me like that."

Noam raised his eyebrows. "Why not?"

Dara slowly walked closer until he was almost touching Noam. "Because I smell like wet dog and our daughter is right there."

Noam reached out to grab Dara's hips and pull him closer. "Yeah?" He pulled Dara closer and nosed through Dara's curls until he got to his ear, he let his breath ghost over the shell of Dara's ear just to make him shiver. "You do smell like wet dog."

Dara kissed his cheek. "I hate you."

Noam chuckled and hugged Dara tighter. "Go take a shower, cariño. I'll watch Ahava."

Dara hid his face briefly in Noam's neck, he nodded and stepped out of Noam's arms. "I swear that child was somehow born with a build in dirt compass."

"She didn't get that from me."

"Don't ever lie to me again, Álvaro!" Dara called over his shoulder as he walked up the stairs.

Noam grinned to himself. God, he must look like an idiot. He shook his head and turned towards the living room where Ahava was cuddling the dog. He stayed with her as she lay sprawled on the floor, excitedly prattling on about all the different bugs she had seen that day while drawing them in bright colors. Eventually Dara joined them, greeting both of them with a kiss and sitting Ahava on his lap so they could look over her drawings together. When she started to interrupt herself with yawns Noam carried her up to bed and they both kissed her goodnight as she hugged her goat plushie close to her chest. "I want another one."

"Spoiled girl," Dara chided gently.

"I don't have a ladybug one yet and I think thats sad," she mumbled into her pillow.

Dara stroked her hand over her hair. "If you go to bed now we can talk about it tomorrow." She nodded slowly, eyes already half closed as Dara kept carding his fingers through her hair. When her breathing deepened both he and Noam quickly left the room, closing the door as quietly as they could. When it had clicked shut Dara shot Noam an almost nervous smile. "Survived another day.

Noam tipped his head forward so it rested against Dara's. "Barely," Noam whispered. It made Dara laugh, his hands quickly shooting up to stifle the sound and, God, Noam was in love. Dara intertwined his fingers with Noam and led him wordlessly back to the first floor. 

"Do you want tea?" Dara asked.

"Sure, sweetheart." Noam leaned his hip against the counter as he watched Dara move deftly through the kitchen. "Do we need to talk?"

Dara looked at him with warm eyes, "I want to. I think it's good if we did." He handed Noam his tea and followed him towards the couch.

Noam settled into the couch with a groan and turned his head to look at where Dara sat perched on the couch. "What's wrong?"

Dara drummed his fingers against his glass. "The things you said today, where did they come from?" Noam evaded his gaze. "We've talked about all of this. Years ago. I though it was resolved." Noam could hear a tremor of insecurity in Dara's voice, the nagging thoughts of _I should have noticed sooner_ starting to manifest behind those dark eyes. 

"It was but..." Noam bit his lip.

"But?" Dara prompted gently.

"Ahava makes me think about it again. I wonder if I'm a good father sometimes and that led back towards those older thoughts," Noam said quietly. "I want to be deserving of her. I want to do right by her. Her and you. Both of you deserve the absolute best and I'm scared that I can't always provide that."

Noam heard the clink of glass as Dara put his teacup down. "Oh Noam, please look at me." Gentle hands found their way towards Noam's jaw so they could guide his head upwards. "You are a wonderful father and a wonderful person. You don't have to doubt that. People only have to take one look at you to see that you love Ahava to death." Dara's eyes were earnest.

"I'm going to make mistakes," Noam whispered.

"So am I. That's normal and can't be avoided." Dara bend forward to kiss him. "We just have to keep trying."

"I keep having this nightmare," Noam whispered deathly quiet, as if speaking it louder would give it the power to become real. "Everything is normal and suddenly I can't talk or move or breath. And Ahava keeps asking, 'Papa? Papa? Answer me!' but I can't. And she's begging and screaming and so are you but I can't move." He was shaking Noam realised, he looked down and his hands were trembling bad enough that he was surprised he was still managing to hold the teacup. Dara grasped it and set it down on the table next to his own, then he took Noam's hands in his and stroked over the backs with his thumbs until Noam calmed down again.

"That's not going to happen. I swear it. It's not going to happen because we are in a good place. We can afford therapy, medicine whatever you need. We'll be okay." Noam nodded shakily, he needed to believe that. "How long has this been going on?"

"Uhm, three weeks maybe?" Dara's shoulders tensed and Noam squeezed his hands. "I thought they would go away on their own, didn't want to worry you. Things have been so stressful with all the changes."

"You need to tell me things like this. I want to know what you're going through, darling," Dara said softly.

"I know, I'm sorry for keeping it from you. It's just that- It made me think of my dad," Noam burst out. "I don't understand how he could just- just leave! I mean I understand how depression works and that he didn't shut down because he felt like it but if something happened to you I wouldn't abandon Ahava like that. I would stay. I would fight to keep functioning. It's easy to say shit like that when it's not you but I swear to God-"

"I know, I know." Dara pressed closer and rubbed slow circles over Noam's back, head resting on his shoulder as they silently took comfort in each others presence. "I wonder too. About- about how he could to those things to me but I don't think there's any good explanation. Nothing that would make sense to me at least. Unfortunately there are just no answers sometimes. I wonder if he ever cared," Dara said quietly. "I remember things being good at the beginning, at least more good than bad. He liked to spend time with me, or pretended to. Every time Ahava calls me 'daddy' I wonder if he ever felt something when I called him that. I know that if it was a fraction of what I feel he wouldn't have done what he did, but there always seemed to be something like happiness in there, he was a good actor but it seemed real. Then again, most things did with him." Dara sighed and then gave Noam a sardonic look. "What a pair we make."

"Sure do, baby."

The corners of Dara's mouth quirked up and he straightened, leaving Noam's shoulder cold, he settled back against the couch and playful patted his lap. "Come here."

Noam let himself flop sideways with a dramatic groan making Dara giggle. He smiled against Dara's legs when he felt him starting to stroke his hair. "This is nice," he mumbled. Dara hummed in response and bend down to kiss the side of his head. "I love you."

"I love you too." He could hear Dara smiling. "And we're going to be okay."

Noam pressed a kiss against Dara's thigh. "I know."

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank camii for being a good friend and teaching me the cursed phrase papi chulo.
> 
> Blue ladybugs exist in Australia (of course) and they're very pretty.
> 
> I'm going to kill Adalwolf for making me write him. I'm also kicking myself hard because I fucked up in prayer for Persephone and will have to fix some shit. So I'm not sure how long that will take but the chapter is almost done.
> 
> Ahava fucking loves dirt.
> 
> I didn't give Dara a goat in this au but lets just say he does one of those adopt things on a farm somewhere were you pay for an animal and get updates but don't actually have it in your house.
> 
> I know depression isn't a rational choice that people make but Jaime did screw Noam over and I feel like it's to be expected if he holds some resentment and confusion over that, especially now that he has his own kid.
> 
> Im tired and theres probably mistakes but I can't see them now sorry.


End file.
